Ready to breathe a sigh of relief? Welcome to Ask Dr. Jodi, where you get trauma-informed mental health and relationship advice that you won’t hear anywhere else. Today, we’re exploring how to step outside your comfort zone, challenge yourself in healthy ways, and take calculated risks that help you grow while staying safe.
Hi everyone, it’s Dr. Jodi. Welcome back to Ask Dr. Jodi! As we wrap up 2024 and look ahead to a new year, I’m so excited to explore the topic of stepping outside your comfort zone. Together with my daughter Lily, we’ll share our personal experiences, reflect on challenges we faced this year, and talk about how we can all push past our limits in 2025—one small, brave step at a time. Let’s dive in!
Episode Summary
In this reflective and motivating episode, Dr. Jodi Aman and her daughter, Lily, share their personal experiences of stepping outside their comfort zones in 2024. Together, they discuss why discomfort often feels dangerous, how to differentiate between healthy risks and harmful ones, and the benefits of pushing past limits in a mindful way.
From overcoming fears like flying, social situations, and networking challenges to finding balance between growth and safety, this conversation highlights practical strategies to expand your comfort zone one step at a time. Dr. Jodi and Lily provide insights on taking small, manageable steps toward personal growth and creating goals for 2025 that stretch you without overwhelming you.
Listeners seeking to overcome fears, grow confidence, or prepare for new challenges will find relatable examples, encouragement, and actionable advice to make 2025 a year of meaningful growth.
Key Takeaways
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
Thank you so much for listening to Ask Dr. Jodi! If you enjoyed today’s episode, please take a moment to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this episode with someone who’s ready to break through their limits and grow in 2025. Let’s step into a braver, bolder year together!
[00:00:00] Dr. Jodi Ama: Are you ready to go outside your comfort zone in 2025? So who is ready to challenge themself and accept that challenge? Today with me, Dr. Jodi and Lily we're going to be talking about some of our own ways that we were challenged in 2024. What we did in And some of the things maybe we didn't do and we wish we did.
[00:00:23] Dr. Jodi Ama: And then we're going to talk about, maybe we're going to talk about what we are thinking about for 2025, what our limits have been and why and how we might try to push past them. What might get in our way of pushing past him and then, and just talk about that. So if you're joining us live on Facebook, on LinkedIn, on YouTube, please make a comment.
[00:00:46] Dr. Jodi Ama: Tell us about some of your challenges this year, what you're going through, what you wish you did and you didn't do. And let's talk about that. Yay. Yay. Challenges. I think this idea of like being, getting more comfortable, being uncomfortable is really crucial to this time because I think we feel a lot of resistance to discomfort, especially in the U. S. and especially young people, I would say.
[00:01:14] Lily: Yeah. I think it's like, there's like a line, right? You have to either be Like, you can't go too far, and that's what people are afraid of, but most people won't go too far. Like, isn't too far, like, too many risks? Too vulnerable? Yeah, is there, like, a thing, you can go too far, and then you push yourself too far out of your comfort zone, and then it's detrimental, or is it always good?
[00:01:41] Dr. Jodi Ama: Well, obviously, if you like speed, if you drive a hundred and are weaving in and out of traffic, yes, the increased, the risk of, is that
[00:01:49] Lily: what you mean? Like crashing? Well, yeah, I guess that's obvious. But what, I don't know. Cause sometimes they all feel the same. Like sometimes it feels really dangerous.
[00:01:57] Lily: Like sometimes. Meeting new people can feel as dangerous as going faster on the highway or something.
[00:02:07] Dr. Jodi Ama: Well, yeah, cause it, it might be dangerous cause you could get hurt or you could be rejected. Yeah, like let's say you're going on
[00:02:13] Lily: a date and then you're like, Oh, I could get hurt like last time or something.
[00:02:17] Lily: And then that feels really dangerous. So, how do you know what's like good stepping out of your comfort zone and what's bad?
[00:02:23] Dr. Jodi Ama: Well, I think what's important always for me to recognize is that vulnerability itself is not dangerous. Vulnerability is only dangerous if there's danger around. So if you're exploring new relationships, we're social beings.
[00:02:40] Dr. Jodi Ama: We want to be in relationships. It's good for us. It's good for our body, mind, soul, longevity, health span, everything. It's, we need to be in relationships. And so when it feels really risky or vulnerable to get in a new relationship, cause you're not sure if you could get hurt or someone's going to betray you or con you out of money, I don't know what, but there's a lot of scary things that can happen if you take a risk in a relationship, but there's so many benefits and it's totally worth it.
[00:03:04] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah. But you're not like going in blind and like just opening your heart to somebody like the first minute and you don't even know them. Like you could take your time and observe and see what they're like. How do they treat other people? How are they treating you? Like the consistency of their behavior.
[00:03:22] Dr. Jodi Ama: And what I always think I didn't want this to be like a, I'm just teaching here. I really wanted to talk about ourselves, what I always say is. If you're starting a relationship, whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship, tell other people about it. Tell other people about those first interactions so you're not the only one making that assessment.
[00:03:44] Dr. Jodi Ama: You know what I mean? Yeah. Because sometimes, yeah, you're right. It gets cloudy 'cause they get love bomb you and it feels so good, but it takes somebody at a distance. You might be too close to it and it's so fun.
[00:03:53] Lily: Well, yeah. But then what about like. You can't, sometimes you can't always tell, like you're, sometimes it's nicer to keep like your friendships or your relationships intimate, like, how do you not like,
[00:04:08] Dr. Jodi Ama: Well, you don't have to do it from day one, right?
[00:04:11] Dr. Jodi Ama: So, yeah, we want to be intimate in relationships because that vulnerability when you're safe, brings you closer. It brings you joy. It brings you, connection, all these things that we want. It brings you security. When you're vulnerable, when someone's, when you're safe. You feel more secure, actually.
[00:04:27] Dr. Jodi Ama: So there's a, there's ethics to it. You
[00:04:29] Lily: wouldn't, you don't need to like respect the privacy of, to an extent. Some people jump
[00:04:33] Dr. Jodi Ama: in two feet, like too fast and they just trust this person implicitly, but that's, that's a red flag. If you're, if you see yourself doing that, I'd be like, wait a second.
[00:04:42] Dr. Jodi Ama: That's why I say, always tell your friends in the beginning of any relationship, what the interaction's like, because they might have enough distance to be like, yeah. Seems like love bombing here. You know what love bombing is. Yeah, I know. Yeah, we all know now. That was, like, not a thing, like, when I was young and we, but yeah.
[00:05:03] Dr. Jodi Ama: Well, was it called? We didn't, I don't know, we just, we thought it was great, we just thought it was great at the time.
[00:05:11] Lily: Wait, what do you mean? Like, it would, but it would end badly still,
[00:05:16] Dr. Jodi Ama: right? Yes, but you didn't really You didn't really connect in the beginning. So, so love bombing means when you're with somebody at the beginning of a relationship and they like, they're so attached so fast and they make you feel like a queen of the world and they just make you feel so good.
[00:05:32] Dr. Jodi Ama: It's called love bombing because it's not. It's not a secure attachment, right? There's this incredible attachment and and it feels so good. And then they start to criticize and be passive aggressive. And you're always trying to get back to that amazing way. Just love
[00:05:50] Lily: bombing. Oh, cause I thought it always ended, like, does it ever end good or no?
[00:05:55] Lily: Like it could,
[00:05:56] Dr. Jodi Ama: It's a term. So, so there's different degrees of it is
[00:05:59] Lily: love bombing the term for when it. Turns later. Cause some people are like that and might stay like that. Like every once in a while you'll find someone that just like is very outward about their passion, probably. Right.
[00:06:10] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah, but they're secure.
[00:06:12] Dr. Jodi Ama: So, so like you could have love at first sight and you could get really close to somebody, but it's not creepy because you're, it's mutual and they're and they're secure and it's like fun. And. There's no other red flags. Like they're not trying to not let you be with your other friends and they're not, they're not.
[00:06:30] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah, I guess so. But how do you think their security, they're not like starting to be passive? Well, because like quite right away, even when they're love bombing, they're already slipping those passive aggressive digs in. Oh, okay. It's, it starts really subtly and you can't really tell. And you think it's you a little bit, but it happens quite quickly.
[00:06:46] Dr. Jodi Ama: People don't love them more than, a few weeks. Sometimes it's a few months, but very rare. There's always some other clues. That's why you want your friends. To know in the beginning of every relationship, even if it's another friend or it's romantic, make sure your friends are like reading those texts together and being like, what do you think about that?
[00:07:06] Dr. Jodi Ama: And that kind of thing.
[00:07:07] Lily: Yeah. So like having friends is a way that you can safely. Step out of your comfort zone with, like, without feeling like you're taking too much risk about, right?
[00:07:18] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah. Always stay connected to someone, right? So like, hopefully it's not like you're starting, none of you are watching this are like born today and they, and you don't have any friends.
[00:07:26] Dr. Jodi Ama: You're starting from scratch. Usually you have some people that you trust in your life. Even if it's like one person or trust a little bit that you could share the beginning of another relationship with and be like, what do you make of this?
[00:07:40] Lily: But in general, like what are other things you can do to step out of your comfort zone?
[00:07:45] Lily: Like, like if you're facing your fear, like a fear of flying then like what are tools that you can use to help? Well,
[00:07:52] Dr. Jodi Ama: Let's go back a little bit and think about like why do we want to, what is a comfort zone and why would anyone want to push past it? Okay. Like, what do you, how do you see a comfort zone?
[00:08:03] Dr. Jodi Ama: And I know it's different for everybody, but. I,
[00:08:06] Lily: me, I feel like comfort zone. I don't know. I think it's like pretty self explanatory, like what you're comfortable with. Yeah. Okay. So there's this like parameter that you can do in your life that you're comfortable with.
[00:08:19] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah. It's like this invisible barrier between what's really comfortable and then outside of it, it's like things that make you uncomfortable.
[00:08:26] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah. And for some people, they do stuff that's uncomfortable and they find it thrilling in some ways, like jumping out of an airplane or riding a jet ski or something. I will never.
[00:08:36] Lily: Jump out of a plane. I don't like that.
[00:08:38] Dr. Jodi Ama: I did it once when I was your age.
[00:08:40] Lily: I can't believe it because we're on planes together and we're both feeling a little nervous.
[00:08:45] Lily: And I can't believe you jumped out of a I wouldn't I would've never even before Like, I could never be peer pressured. I don't get peer pressured very easily, but no one could drag me I will be unconscious if I'm about to be Out of an airplane.
[00:09:00] Dr. Jodi Ama: I know I can't believe I did. I was 20 years old and I did that
[00:09:04] Lily: scared.
[00:09:05] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah, I was so scared. I was so scared. Did you have fun at all?
[00:09:10] Lily: You must've,
[00:09:11] Dr. Jodi Ama: I guess so. I can't remember. I remember seeing, there was two of us, it was teeny tiny plane. There was two of us, it was tandem. So like we were hooked to our instructor, but there was two of us, two pairs. That was the second one out of the plane.
[00:09:25] Dr. Jodi Ama: We were like sitting on the floor of the plane. It was so tiny. It was like as big as my desk. Fairly. A little bit more. But and then I saw his face, like the passenger's face as he fell out of the plane, he fell backwards out of the plane and I saw the terror in his face and I like lost it.
[00:09:43] Dr. Jodi Ama: I was like, what am I,
[00:09:44] Lily: you're like, oh, nevermind.
[00:09:46] Dr. Jodi Ama: And so I was like, oh, it's like that rollercoaster feeling, like rollercoaster I'm like 30 seconds of free fall. We're doing 30 seconds of free fall. So I was like, I'm going to feel like that for 30 seconds. I think I'll pass out. But really it was only the, when my velocity got regular, I stopped having the feeling in my stomach.
[00:10:04] Dr. Jodi Ama: So it was only the first like second. And then, cause you're accelerating and then finally you get to. What's that called? Like, when you're not accelerating anymore, you're at the same speed. Maximum
[00:10:14] Lily: velocity? Not maximum,
[00:10:15] Dr. Jodi Ama: like the same consistent velocity, I don't know, like, then for like 30 seconds you're at the same, you're free falling, you can't, you don't keep accelerating.
[00:10:24] Dr. Jodi Ama: Okay. So then I got to like enjoy a little bit and look around, but yeah, that was, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. And then it was like five minutes of with the parachute going the rest of the way. But yeah, these are things you could maybe do. So what are you,
[00:10:38] Lily: what would you, were you already nervous about planes like before that a little?
[00:10:43] Lily: Yes. I was already, I would never, I had my very
[00:10:47] Dr. Jodi Ama: first panic attack on a plane ride to Australia. I was traveling to Australia to study abroad. And I never had a panic attack before. Well, I did it when I was little. I wrote about it in my books, so I had a panic attack, for a long time, I didn't have a panic attack. And so I wasn't even like familiar or afraid of having a panic attack, but I got on this plane and I had the worst panic attack I've ever had. And then I was there for four months and over that trip, I The first couple of days I, like, couldn't eat and anything.
[00:11:15] Dr. Jodi Ama: I
[00:11:15] Lily: like a 15 hour flight, right?
[00:11:17] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But but it was like a, it was an adventure. This is the thing is like, you could go outside your comfort zone. And I traveled there several other times cause I studied narrative therapy. It's a kind of therapy and I studied it in Australia. So I took that plane trip several other times in my life.
[00:11:37] Dr. Jodi Ama: When I was young, I don't remember being afraid of flying, but when I was an adult after this, cause I was 20 when I went and after that I was terrified of flying, so. Still am, but I mastered it. Like I still fly. And I do have a face your fear of flying audio course. So if you ever really want to master your fear of flying, I got your back.
[00:11:59] Lily: You got mine. Cause I think my bad flight was senior year high school. And then I was okay. I was nervous. The hand was breaking. Okay. Yeah, it was. It was a six, it was a six person flight and I just did not like it. It was supposed to be like 25 minutes and then we didn't land for so long and I thought something was wrong and
[00:12:22] Dr. Jodi Ama: It was a little bumpy.
[00:12:24] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah,
[00:12:24] Lily: it was
[00:12:24] Dr. Jodi Ama: rough. I don't like turbulence. But
[00:12:26] Lily: it's okay because I did get a lot better but for a while I really didn't. And then I was really scared on flights after that, but I've gotten better because of you, your health and my own work.
[00:12:40] Lily: Well, it's interesting cause you avoided flying. Well, yeah, cause I, I really do, I want to travel really badly, but I did not.
[00:12:48] Dr. Jodi Ama: It like wasn't worth it to be that comfortable on a plane. And so you have took a train, which is, you took a train to visit people, which sometimes was like nine hours on the train.
[00:12:58] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah. Because you're
[00:12:59] Lily: instead of an hour flight.
[00:13:01] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah.
[00:13:01] Lily: So I don't do I'd so much rather take the flight now, which is awesome. But I got there because. I had to step out of my comfort zone a few times to, like, practice on the plane. And really took, like, one long We went to Italy this summer, which was a blessing to be able to go.
[00:13:21] Lily: And really fun. It was with family. Family reunion, really. And That was a hard, that was the longest one I've been on since because the flight from school I go to school in New York and then to Rochester is like an hour and so those are all like really short and then I went on like a three hour one before but the eight hour one was like the first And I had to break a lot of, like, I wouldn't go to the bathroom on a flight because I just want to sit in my seat and just like focus on keeping, like, somehow I was keeping the plane in the air and I couldn't be distracted.
[00:13:58] Lily: And also something so scary is like the flush of an airplane bathroom. It's like, like, you're just like, I'm being sucked out of the plane right now. So that's terrifying. And but then I had to go. I had to go to the bathroom in eight hours. And so I went. And then, so there's tons of things like that.
[00:14:14] Lily: Like little things. I had to like, I'm not going to do this, but then you had to. Yeah, and I'd be nervous to eat. Like I wouldn't have to eat within an hour of a flight. I'd get off and eat or something. But eight hours, like I had to eat, especially because it calms my nerves. And so that was another thing
[00:14:30] Dr. Jodi Ama: I had to do.
[00:14:31] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah, when you're nervous, you don't like to eat.
[00:14:33] Lily: Yeah, I, it's hard to eat when I'm nervous. And then I
[00:14:36] Dr. Jodi Ama: think that happens for a lot of people. Some of us like eat to comfort ourselves and some of us can't eat because we're I definitely
[00:14:42] Lily: stress eat.
[00:14:42] Dr. Jodi Ama: No, I have
[00:14:42] Lily: the
[00:14:42] Dr. Jodi Ama: same.
[00:14:43] Lily: I stress eat. But then once I get like a certain type of anxious, I'm like, I'm not even hungry.
[00:14:48] Lily: Oh yeah. So it's like nothing will taste good. But then, but when I'm mildly stressed, whatever, yeah, anyways I definitely do stress
[00:14:59] Dr. Jodi Ama: anyways. Okay, so, so we were going to go back and define the comfort zone. I guess we did already, right? The parameters that we have and inside those parameters, we're really comfortable.
[00:15:09] Dr. Jodi Ama: Everything's really familiar. And then, Outside that, things are unfamiliar, we're not comfortable, or we don't know we're going to be comfortable. It's not like definite that we're uncomfortable. Even if we don't know if we'll be comfortable or not, it is outside those parameters, that comfort zone. And so
[00:15:26] Lily: we know we're, as I said, we know we'll be comfortable.
[00:15:29] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah. And so it's like unknown and like that's scary, but it might not be dangerous at all. Or, if you have a lack of belief in yourself, like you don't believe that you can handle something. If it was a little bit more challenging, you don't know what it's going to be like. You might not like it and be trapped out there like that.
[00:15:46] Dr. Jodi Ama: And can't get back to comfort or ease or home or whatever. Like if you were going to like, should we go to this festival? And you don't like to be around a lot of people, or you don't know if you'll have a panic attack there, then you're afraid, like what if I'm there and have a panic attack, I'm stuck there.
[00:16:02] Dr. Jodi Ama: And so you don't go because you don't want to.
[00:16:05] Lily: Yeah, okay, so there was one time we went, there was one other time in the past few years that we went on a plane to Florida. And I honestly just did not enjoy any time there. I was so stressed about the plane back. So that didn't feel,
[00:16:21] Dr. Jodi Ama: that still didn't feel Coincidentally, on this thing, it was the two of us on this trip.
[00:16:25] Dr. Jodi Ama: And so we On the original trip. We were so worried, like, it was such a bad little tiny plane that we were really worried about flying home. And we, the Royal We're really worried about flying home and not being okay. And then our flight got cancelled. And they were trying to reroute us. And they put, had to put us, there was only one seat on the plane.
[00:16:48] Dr. Jodi Ama: And Lily was like, I need to get home. Like, I can't put off this flight. I need to get home. And so we ended up Not being together on the flight.
[00:16:58] Lily: Yeah, no, that did happen. I
[00:17:00] Dr. Jodi Ama: had to go somewhere else and then go home. So I got there like the next day or something. And then she had to wait in the airport by herself, afraid of getting on the plane.
[00:17:09] Dr. Jodi Ama: And then you got on the plane yourself and flew three and a half hours.
[00:17:12] Lily: Yeah. All by yourself. That's so stupid. Now you say it out loud. But yeah, I was, it was like extra. We already were afraid. So it was because like the flight just happened. The, this, the small one. And I was just, and I was just coming off of it.
[00:17:27] Lily: I was just like, oh, okay. I'll never be afraid of a regular flight again. And then I was like, oh no, I have to wait nine hours because this got delayed. And now what am I going to do? Just, like, alone in the airport for nine hours just thinking of it. Thinking of the anxiety. Anyway, so that doesn't, but that's What I was saying is that also
[00:17:45] Dr. Jodi Ama: you hadn't flown in a really long time, so it wasn't familiar.
[00:17:47] Dr. Jodi Ama: Like you didn't know you'll be okay. You know what I mean?
[00:17:50] Lily: Months earlier. Okay, whatever. But what I was saying is that the floor was COVID. We didn't, I don't know. It wasn't because I had the college auditions. Remember I went to Florida. Oh yeah. for that audition. Anyways, what I was saying is that a little bit after that trip, we went to Florida and I was stressed the whole time.
[00:18:09] Lily: Like the whole, yeah, few days we were there and that felt like I went out of my comfort zone to get on the plane. And this is all like, Third world, really. First world, first world. Definitely first world problems. That's what I meant to say. Yes. Oh God. Anyways, so that was that. And then, but like, yeah, I did feel really stressed that time and it didn't feel like worth it to get out of my comfort zone.
[00:18:36] Lily: But then, so then how do you, like, how do you distinguish that? Like sometimes someone's going to do something and it doesn't go well. And then, like, Yeah, let's say you're like, oh, yeah I'll tell all my friends about this relationship and all my friends approve and We've been dating for a little bit and then all of a sudden something bad happens and then you're like, well, I stepped I did it and Everyone tells me to do it because I mean we're supposed to believe that stepping out of your comfort zone is it
[00:19:03] Dr. Jodi Ama: is good It's not always good, right?
[00:19:04] Dr. Jodi Ama: It's a risk like but you could take calculated risks Right? So risks, it's good to take risks, like risk taking is good for you, and like, you grow but you don't want to take risky risks. You want to take calculated risks. Like, so if you were to, like, this is a good example I think I wrote about in my book.
[00:19:23] Dr. Jodi Ama: If you were going to walk across a log. over a stream, you'd calculate how risky that was. So is it slippery? Is it like icy and slippery? Is it very far from the water? Is the water shallow? Is the water really deep and like crazy dangerous? Like you'd calculate if it was safe for you to walk across. Is the log really thick?
[00:19:45] Dr. Jodi Ama: Is it really skinny? Is there branches to hold on to? Like you take a calculated risk? And there's so many. Okay. Variations. Yeah, but
[00:19:53] Lily: What if you're like, the log is, has so much friction, it's not slippery at all, and the stream is pretty, it's shallow. And it's hot. And there's maybe like one rock a little bit away and it's hot out and everything's fine.
[00:20:05] Lily: And then you get on the thing and you slip and hit your head on that one rock. Then how, like, how do you justify, like, how do you get back on the horse when it's like most times it would be fine?
[00:20:16] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah, I guess like, so there's always a risk, right? Like, like, We can, your safety is all always relative, always, because, a meteorite could land on our house.
[00:20:29] Dr. Jodi Ama: We're not really afraid of that, though, so, like, a meteorite can fall on our house, or we could, yeah, fall and hit our head in this really strange, fluke of an accident. So those kind of things can happen, but we're not actually afraid of those things because it's so, so not common, so uncommon for those to happen.
[00:20:50] Dr. Jodi Ama: But so safety is totally relative, but we think that we're in danger when the risk is really low. So there's always a risk, but it's like the calculated risk. Like how you. You weigh the risks versus the benefits. Like, well, I have the benefit of having this experience or having this adventure or having this time with these people that I can get closer to them and enjoy it while I laugh a lot.
[00:21:14] Dr. Jodi Ama: You're weighing like, could I be uncomfortable out there? Yeah. But all the rest of the night would be so great. I don't miss this concert.
[00:21:21] Lily: Sometimes you don't weigh the risks correctly. Like, you know how there's like a fact, some fact that it's like, Safer to be in an airplane than a car, but like people know that and less it's still going cars obviously and usually feel more comfortable in a car than a plane.
[00:21:42] Lily: And
[00:21:42] Dr. Jodi Ama: why is that? Why do you feel more comfortable in a car than a plane?
[00:21:46] Lily: It feels like you have more control.
[00:21:47] Dr. Jodi Ama: Well, it's familiar. You do it so often and people who fly really often are never afraid because they fly so often They can get over that.
[00:21:56] Lily: Yeah,
[00:21:57] Dr. Jodi Ama: and and then people who never fly and then, fly for years and then you I flew a lot, so I know this stuff.
[00:22:03] Dr. Jodi Ama: You're fine, you Yeah. Yeah. It was like we hadn't flown in a long time and then there was that.
[00:22:09] Lily: So the more time you step out of your comfort zone, the. Yes.
[00:22:13] Dr. Jodi Ama: When you step out of your comfort zone, the parameters of the comfort zone shifts. Yeah. And so you have more things inside it and less limits on your life.
[00:22:22] Dr. Jodi Ama: Like a comfort zone and the parameters around it really limits your life. Yeah. Like if you won't step outside it. And so some ways to step outside it, you want to break some patterns that you have. If you have a pattern that. Limits you. You want to try to break those. Use baby steps. Make some goals for yourself and follow through on them.
[00:22:41] Dr. Jodi Ama: Make little goals. Why make a huge goal that's just like way too outside your comfort zone? Do something little and then make that educational assessment of safety or get some help from a friend assessing the safety of either of whatever it is. We'll stick it. We'll be we'll do it together.
[00:22:57] Dr. Jodi Ama: Everything's a little bit easier when you're doing it with a friend.
[00:23:00] Lily: Yeah.
[00:23:02] Dr. Jodi Ama: Any other things that happened to you this year that you felt like, I stayed in my comfort zone and I wish we hadn't? I wish I hadn't?
[00:23:11] Lily: No. It's tough. Because, okay, going back to the skydiving thing, That would be insanely out of my comfort zone, and I know I want to enjoy it, and that's okay. Yeah. I won't, I probably will never do that, but it's not like inhibiting me. Right. It's not
[00:23:28] Dr. Jodi Ama: like you want to.
[00:23:29] Lily: It's not like I want to, but I'm afraid.
[00:23:31] Lily: Yeah. As opposed to like, I do want to fly and get To places quicker and other than a train, like getting on a boat or yeah, right. It's a two week
[00:23:41] Dr. Jodi Ama: cruise across the Atlantic.
[00:23:43] Lily: Yeah. So I'm trying to think what has there been time with you recently? Well, I think.
[00:23:49] Dr. Jodi Ama: That I didn't go outside. I would say that, I'm not a salesperson, but I have a lot of products.
[00:23:55] Dr. Jodi Ama: Now I have my card games, my books, and I went to this conference and I had a table and I had all my products on the table, like, different things that I offer. And they were teachers. So I have curriculum. I consult in schools. I have my books and posters for teachers and stuff. I'm like, nobody wears
[00:24:14] Lily: my stuff, I'm like, yeah, networking.
[00:24:16] Lily: Now that you say it, networking is really, that is something where I'm like, I should have said something.
[00:24:21] Dr. Jodi Ama: I know. Passes by and you're like, these people are walking by my table and I'm standing in front of the table going, are you a health teacher? And then sometimes I just couldn't do it. Yeah.
[00:24:31] Dr. Jodi Ama: And so sweet. My mom came with me because I, if I had to like walk away from the table, she could like brush the stuff. And I needed somebody else to go with me who didn't have a full time job, could go with me to this conference. And so sweet. And I and sometimes I'd look back at her and I'm like, I just couldn't say anything.
[00:24:48] Dr. Jodi Ama: I push myself and push myself. And sometimes I'm like, I just needed a break from pushing myself. And I let people walk by without trying to be like, Hey, are you a health teacher? I have some games that you might like. There's skill building games for your class, blah, blah, blah.
[00:25:02] Dr. Jodi Ama: And So I did that a lot, but I probably could have done it like a so much more. Yeah. Like, yeah. Yeah. I think sales is where I, that's my big challenge.
[00:25:15] Lily: That's hard, but that's because we like experience people being too pushy with us. Also, that's, I think a reason is that like, you're on a, if you're like on a call of Verizon and they're like, and they're like trying to sell things, then You're gonna you're gonna feel like annoyed so I think there is like a timidness obviously you're never gonna be Like some a huge corporation that's selling things like
[00:25:43] Dr. Jodi Ama: yeah I mean if selling things obviously I believe in and I think if they'll
[00:25:46] Lily: and it feels but sometimes and they're like you're bothering them That's how I feel when I am trying to meet people
[00:25:52] Dr. Jodi Ama: It's like you're trying to put your agenda on somebody else.
[00:25:55] Dr. Jodi Ama: And I, I feel a little bit like guilty about that, but if you believe in what you're selling, why would you sell something you don't believe in? But if you believe in what you're selling, like, Hey, this could help. It could actually help. Students will love these games. Like, this Encompass game we've played it with tons of kids.
[00:26:09] Dr. Jodi Ama: They love it. Brother, just kidding. Yeah, here I am outside my comfort zone. Let me hold up my product. I haven't even posted online about my posters. Like, they're the cutest posters. I designed some posters for two people to put up in their classroom. And they're so adorable, but
[00:26:27] Lily: You're afraid.
[00:26:27] Dr. Jodi Ama: I'm not afraid.
[00:26:29] Dr. Jodi Ama: You're not afraid.
[00:26:30] Lily: But just, like, that comforts them.
[00:26:31] Dr. Jodi Ama: I have so many things I offer people, so it's, like, in their face all the time, and I don't know. Expose! I'll post. That's what I'm going to challenge. So in 2005, I'm going to tell people about my products and I ended up not really selling that much. I have a lot of inventory.
[00:26:48] Dr. Jodi Ama: It wasn't that kind of a conference. People weren't buying, people were buying programs or like learning about programs to go back and buy them later. So people weren't buying books and stuff. No one was selling that kind of thing. So I didn't really sell that much. You tried Maya High School? Now, I know I have to so, so for me, for 2025, networking is going to be where I'm going to challenge myself and set some really goals.
[00:27:14] Dr. Jodi Ama: I had a mentor a long time ago that said, write to three people a day. Like, what if you contacted three people a day? And it could be for anything. It doesn't have to be always just for, if you want to be on their podcast or they're going to be on your podcast, like just a connection or reach out to a teacher and be like, Hey, I have these things.
[00:27:33] Dr. Jodi Ama: Would you be interested in trying them out or whatever? If I wrote to three people every day, What about you? What is your goal for 2020?
[00:27:41] Lily: Honestly, I hate to be a copycat, but I think that is an important Copycat? You're a copycat.
[00:27:49] Dr. Jodi Ama: Are You hate to be a copycat, but you're gonna be one?
[00:27:52] Lily: Yes. I'm gonna yeah.
[00:27:54] Lily: I just want a network. You're gonna have one? I want a network, too. Yeah. That's mine. Yeah. Okay. I guess I'll be a Okay. I don't know. Do you want a buddy? Bye.
[00:28:05] Dr. Jodi Ama: What is happening right now? I love that line. In New Girl they have that line a lot. What is happening right now?
[00:28:11] Lily: Or like in Friends when Ross And who is Phoebe's boyfriend?
[00:28:16] Lily: I forgot his name.
[00:28:17] Dr. Jodi Ama: The Cap guy? No. Oh. It's whatever. It's like
[00:28:20] Lily: a really famous actor. Yeah. But he Paul Rudd. Paul Rudd! And then he, and Paul Rudd like reaches over him to grab his phone because they're trying to hide something from him. And then Ross was like, I don't understand what just happened here.
[00:28:32] Dr. Jodi Ama: I love Homaya. I just, those lines are always so funny. I do like those. All right. So, so let's recap a little bit, cause we're getting to the end of our show. So you, so what is your networking goal? First, you have one.
[00:28:46] Lily: Yeah, well, I guess I'll change it up. I want to write to, I think I want to write to like one person every day.
[00:28:54] Lily: Every day? No, I take it back. Probably like once a week. One person? One person a week.
[00:29:00] Dr. Jodi Ama: Maybe a little bit
[00:29:00] Lily: more than that.
[00:29:01] Dr. Jodi Ama: Really?
[00:29:01] Lily: I'm in school.
[00:29:03] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah, but what if you did three a week? Because you could do all three in one day. Three what? like your professor and like ask a question. Yeah, I guess three a week.
[00:29:11] Dr. Jodi Ama: Okay. Okay. Three a whole week, and it could be like applying for a job, or sending a self tape in. Oh
[00:29:18] Lily: yeah, it could be just like submitting an audition.
[00:29:21] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah. Oh yeah. So, yeah, so three a week because you could do three in one day or you could do, you could do more, but. Yeah, no, yeah. Okay, three a week.
[00:29:30] Dr. Jodi Ama: Okay, so I'm doing three a day.
[00:29:32] Lily: Okay, show off.
[00:29:34] Dr. Jodi Ama: Well, I'm not in school full time.
[00:29:36] Lily: You were, I guess you were.
[00:29:38] Dr. Jodi Ama: Yeah.
[00:29:38] Lily: Anyways. Okay.
[00:29:39] Dr. Jodi Ama: All right. Well, this is so this is the end of our show. We're talking about getting out of your comfort zone in 2025. This is our last show for 2024 and we're going to, we're going to come in strong and hot on in 2025.
[00:29:56] Dr. Jodi Ama: Our first show is going to be about new year, new you. And we're going to, things. I'm so glad to have Lily home. I forgot to say that in the beginning that Lily's home
[00:30:06] Lily: for a month. Lily's home for a month.
[00:30:09] Dr. Jodi Ama: But we're not going to go live over the next two weeks because we're going to let everyone enjoy their holiday.
[00:30:15] Dr. Jodi Ama: And listen, we have, I have a new podcast. So I re branded my podcast. It's called Ask Dr. Jodi. And so come on over. You could see the details below. So come on over, give me a five star review on Apple or Spotify, whichever one you use, because that is going to help get this show to more people who need it.
[00:30:33] Dr. Jodi Ama: And as I take live call ins and that's a new format for us. To be sometimes having conversations, sometimes talking to people and then having people call in and really talk about what's going on for them around a topic that we have. If you have something going on and you want live coaching, come on over to my website, jodiaman.com/live, jodiaman.com/live and sign up on there.
[00:30:58] Dr. Jodi Ama: We're we're raising it up in this world. So yeah, come on every Monday at 8 PM to listen to advice on mental health, relationships, ADHD, anxiety, parenting, what have you. And we're just going to have a lot of fun.
[00:31:11] Dr. Jodi Ama: See you next week.