In this episode of Ask Dr. Jodi, I dive into how to build grit and emotional resilience during challenging times. With spring as a season of reflection and renewal, I explore how to reconnect with your priorities, sustain your commitments, and balance self-care with purposeful action. Learn how to shift your focus from burnout and overwhelm to clarity and impact, so you can thrive personally and contribute meaningfully to your family, community, and the world.
Burnout, overwhelm, and exhaustion are all too common in today’s fast-paced world, but they don’t have to hold you back. In this episode, I share practical strategies to help you build grit, hone emotional resilience, and find balance between self-care and action.
We’ll explore how reflecting on what matters most can help you align your actions with your priorities and renew your commitments to the things that bring meaning and purpose to your life. By taking small, intentional steps, you can strengthen your mental health, develop emotional wellness, and create a deeper connection with your community.
You’ll learn how to:
This episode is packed with actionable insights to help you build emotional strength, overcome anxiety, and step into your power with grit and determination.
Thank you so much for listening to Ask Dr. Jodi! If you enjoyed today’s episode, please take a moment to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts and share it with someone who needs inspiration or help to heal!
Dr. Jodi Aman: [00:00:00] Do you want more grit during challenging times? Welcome to ask Dr. Jodi in this episode, we're gonna talk about how to build your grit, especially this spring. We're gonna talk about spring reflection and renewal of commitments that you have so that you can sustain those commitments. So that you could keep moving on and keeping what's important to you prioritized and not getting carried away.
When we get overwhelmed and when we get burnout and we wanna [00:00:30] withdraw from the world, or we need to take care of ourselves, or we need to back away from things because we can't handle it. Now, this is okay. Sometimes. Let me put a caveat in here. Of course, I am for self care. I'm for a balance trying to.
Take care of yourself so that you can take care of the people around you. It's when people start taking care of themselves and are unable to take care of the people and the communities around them, that it becomes a [00:01:00] problem that mental anguish of the burnout, of the overwhelm of the exhaustion, we're all feeling it right now.
There's nothing wrong with you for feeling it. You're feeling it because it is overwhelming and it is actually by design. The leaders in our country are trying to overwhelm us so that we withdraw so that we, go into our self-care mode, and right now we need to be able to have a balance and be able to [00:01:30] come away from that self-view that we need to take care of ourself and begin to take care of our community again.
And this is what's gonna happen. You , it's. Two benefits to doing this. One is we're gonna make a difference in the world, right? We're gonna make the changes that we wanna see. And number two, our mental health is gonna get better when we prioritize the negative thoughts in our head. They get more airtime, and when we [00:02:00] prioritize a purpose, an action that we could take, that helps other people, that helps ourself, that helps our community, that helps our earth, that helps our world.
When we get involved in that kind of purpose, the focus. Changes. The focus changes into aspirations and inspirations and care and passions that you have. And when those are the focus, there's not as much room for those anxious thoughts and those negative thoughts and those things that overwhelm you. So [00:02:30] not only that, not only do we have the.
The capacity and the energy to do more things for the world. Also, our mental health and emotional wellness is going to improve. We're going to get together with other people, work towards a movement, and all of these things are gonna help us feel better inside and outside. It's getting that balance.
So I'm not saying no self-care. You gotta push through and have grit and don't even take care of [00:03:00] yourself. And if you're overwhelmed, keep going. Some people don't have the luxury to stop into self-care and it's important for us who have privilege to recognize that it is a luxury and a privilege to be able to have self-care.
And I'm not saying don't do it, I do it. I'm not saying don't do it, but think about self-care as a way to recharge. So you could get yourself back out there and fight in the good fight. Get yourself back out there and get your priorities [00:03:30] focused on the things that matter to you. And I'm gonna talk about and explain how to do that in this video, how to build your grit and how to this spring to reflect on what's most important to you and renew your commitments to that.
So that those commitments and that priority builds grit and builds resilience in you so that you can keep going and do the things that you [00:04:00] feel like you want to and need to do for your family and your community, and for the greater community. All right, so let's talk about reflection. So reflection is when you pause.
It's okay. We're pausing. We don't wanna keep going and keep going. We're on a hamster wheel. If you keep going and keep going, that doesn't really help anybody. You wanna make sure you're really purposeful about the actions that you take so you're not running out of energy, getting nowhere. You [00:04:30] wanna pause and reflect.
Pause and reflect, and during this reflection, the first thing you wanna know is what matters most to me. And this could be a list of things. Of course, there's not like one thing that matters most to you, but I guess most. But even that, even when we say it's superlative, like the most important thing in our life, it's hard.
There's a lot of things tied for that position. We have several kids. Sometimes we have partners. We have religious connections to [00:05:00] our higher power, right? Ourself. There are so many things that we could say are the most important thing to us. So this is a list. It's not the most, like plural, important things to you.
Make a list what's most important to you. All right? Once you have that list, think about how. The actions that you take each day, would they suggest that these things are important to you? Would [00:05:30] every action that you take every day in the last week suggest to the people watching you that those things were the most important things to you?
If you were to observe yourself in the last week, what would people think was most important to you based on the actions that you've taken?
Yeah, so think about what kind of actions work towards showing what's most important to you.
What kind of actions work towards [00:06:00] you prioritizing what is most important to you. Which ones that you took, and then what are the actions that are not that important? I know we have to clean up after ourself and we have to make food and that kind of thing, and that might not be the top priority because it's so integrated.
That it's generalized. Yes, nourishing ourselves is very important because it sustains us. It helps us do the things that we have to do. So of course that's a priority, but we don't think [00:06:30] about feeding ourself as our top priority unless you're hungry. But it is because it's part of the things that are most important to you, right?
Your families. You have to nourish them. You take care of yourself so that you have more energy to give yourself to the world, right? So it's, I know I'm going all different directions here, but I. I, when I speak, what happens to me is because I've been doing this so long, I've been a counselor for so long, that when I speak, I [00:07:00] hear all the questions that people might ask when they hear it, and then I try to answer those.
So if you're ever watching my video and you're like, oh, she's like skirting here and there, that is why that is what's going on in my head when I'm doing it. You don't have to feel sorry for me. I'm okay. It doesn't sound like it though, does it? Okay, so if you have, if you have the list of things that are important to you and then you think about the actions you're reflecting on, the actions that you've taken in the last week, which of those would suggest to other [00:07:30] people watching you take those actions?
That those things are important? Then what are other actions that are happening that are either prioritizing the negative thoughts in your head, prioritizing the anxious thoughts in your head, prioritizing the need to withdraw from everyone around you because you can't handle it, right? So what are the actions that you're taking and what are they saying about what's important and what you, and is that matching for you?
Is that what [00:08:00] you want them to do? Is that how you want it to look? Or what needs to change. So that's a reflection piece when you're reflecting on what it is. Next, you wanna write commitments, and these are not gonna be the newest commitment, and you never thought of this before because we've been in this world for a while.
We know things that are important to us. So it was probably really easy for you to write that list. And once you started writing, you thought of more things, right? We're [00:08:30] not, this is not. Something that we don't know. This is stuff that we know already, but we're so distracted with survival and we're so distracted by all the day things that we have to do is that we forget about this.
This is like not first and foremost in our mind because we're so busy taking care of all this stuff to get through the day. Who's with me? Who does that sound familiar to any of you? Because that is like what everyone I know is experiencing and going through. [00:09:00] That's why a reflection process and a renewal process is incredibly important at every change of the season, at the beginning of every week, maybe every morning, doing it in many ways because this helps these things be the top of your mind and you're less likely to get too busy and get in survival mode so much and let the anxiety take over.
Because you have it [00:09:30] at the top of your mind, what's most important to you? I learned a long time ago helping people with anxiety that, and I'm using the word anxiety as something really general this sense of overwhelm or this sense of exhaustion or the sense of not wanting to do stuff or just being uncomfortable.
It just. Which is uncomfortable. So I'm using it in this really general term because anxiety is a continuum and you could feel all kinds of ways up into the worst panic attack you've ever had. And [00:10:00] I want you to think about anxiety the same way for all of that on the continuum and how it really convinces you all of its lies.
And it could be a little bit, and it could be a lot of it. It depends on how much adrenaline's released in your blood for different things. Watch my other videos and I'll give you an earful on how all that works and I'll post some up in the corner that will be relevant to this video too. All right.
So when, a long time ago when I started working with people [00:10:30] with anxiety, I realized that when someone's had anxiety for a while, it becomes a priority. Like everything that they do is to satisfy anxiety or pacify anxiety. We think that's like resisting anxiety, but actually it's not.
It's actually keeping anxiety in the power, doing whatever the anxiety says to do so that we could feel better, but then anxiety has power to throw us off again. It's [00:11:00] unsustainable and so pacifying, the anxiety is not how we get rid of the anxiety. Pacifying. The anxiety keeps us more limited and trapped in life and the priorities that we have that our soul has to soar and learn, and connect, and grow, and inspire, and create, gets dampened because all of our energy is going to satisfying this anxiety, thinking that it's gonna make us feel better, but it actually just gives the anxiety, power, and it's unsustainable.[00:11:30]
So if you switch that around and you had something that was so important to you. So for people who have anxiety. It attaches to different things and it attaches what you let it attach itself to. Does that make sense? So some people are afraid of cars, some people are afraid of bridges.
Some people are afraid of public speaking. Some people are afraid of getting cancer. Some people are afraid of losing someone they, they love. Of course, all of these things are scary, but some of us give one more attention, right? The anxiety is [00:12:00] focused on one thing and not other things. And so this is bizarre, but I realize it's like this arbitrary thing.
It works on different people different ways because that's what they believe and that's what's important to them. But if you were afraid of bridges, but you had to get across that bridge to get to someone you loved and they needed you, and there's no other way to do it, but there's someone you love so much, you love them and they needed you, you crossed that bridge.
[00:12:30] Anxiety couldn't stop you. But if you didn't need to go over that bridge, you'd have every kind of excuse and you just would avoid it. 'cause why need to do it, even if you could go around it or you just, I don't need to go there, right? So if you had something that was that much of a priority, it's easier to get over your anxiety.
You need that. You need the why. You need the why and the purpose. Something that you care about that's so precious to you, and that is how I start with everyone. I help with anxiety. That is how I start [00:13:00] the process, is thinking about what is it that anxiety is keeping you from, and how important is that to you?
That's why this reflection is so important. Once we have that, now we're gonna do the renewal process because now you have an idea of what actions speak to that being important to you and what don't. You wanna reinforce the ones that do. And I, when I started talking about this, I was talking about, we know, [00:13:30] right?
These are not commitments we've never made before. That's why it's called renewal. This is not a brand new commitment that I never, ever thought of before, that I wanted to make sure I had enough time for my children. That's not like the brand new thing I've never thought of. So it's renewing that commitment.
Maybe some of you. Writing a brand new commitment that you've never thought of before, and that is great. It's like more of a goal, an objective that you have that is great too. [00:14:00] So we'll feed energy into that. If it's brand new, we'll feed energy into it if it's a renewal. So we want you to write down your commitments. What are the actions that you wanna take? And after you, that's a little more general. And after you do that, I want you to write down what are some first small steps to take towards that commitment. So the commitment. Then what are the small steps to take towards that [00:14:30] commitment.
Doesn't that feel good? It feels good to care about something and wanna do something. It builds our grit. Just thinking about our why and thinking about how important that why is. And it feels like we could do anything. And really, humans are so adaptable. We've haven't really had to adapt with this modern culture.
Everything is a lot easier especially with when you have privilege, things are so much easier and we've lost our grit. [00:15:00] We've lost so much grit, and that's why the politics are a bit scary because we feel like. I don't wanna go to jail. I don't want to get caught in something and be an example and be thrown where no one could find me.
But you know what it's like people like me have to be committed to doing that, or things might not change. That's like we haven't had a think about that [00:15:30] 70 years, right? We haven't had to think about making those kind of sacrifices in 50 years.
Where is your grit? And I'm not suggesting you do that. I'm not suggesting you do that. I'm suggesting start small, remembering what's important to you, making commitments to what's important to you, and then taking small steps towards those. When you take small steps towards those, you build resilience because the small steps [00:16:00] build and you get stronger and more confident in yourself, and you believe in yourself and you could take bigger steps and then you could take bigger steps and then you could take bigger steps.
So what do you think? What do you think? You ready to build a little bit of grit? We want to go back to. Doing things that are hard. We wanna go back to doing things that challenge us because this builds us up. Actually, this decreases any mental health problems that we have.
This builds emotional resilience, so it builds [00:16:30] emotional wellness. This last 30 years of the mental health problem getting worse and worse. So many people, the first thing they do is withdraw. That actually is why it's gotten even more worse and worse, more worse. We used to not be able to do that.
We lived in communities, we lived in multi-generational families, and so when one person was feeling sad, they couldn't withdraw, there's, you didn't have a room to yourself in the whole place, right? [00:17:00] Everybody was in the same room actually, or, sleeping in the same room, and so there wasn't any place to go.
So you didn't get lost in your mind. You didn't get lost in there, you weren't able to withdraw. Now that we have smaller and smaller households, we have spaces to go and be alone, and it's perpetuating it, and the mental health problems are getting worse and worse in the last 30 or 40 years. We need to reverse that process.
And that sound, and I'm not, there's no [00:17:30] judgment here. There's no oh you're weak and you're not doing anything. No. It's like it's a phenomenon that's happening to us. And if we understood it, we started to push through it, man, we could change it. This is not you. This is cultural. It's not you, but.
We could change it. We start within ourselves. We start within our families. We start by connecting in our communities and everything is gonna change. Get together with people in person. Do some kind of civic [00:18:00] activity. Talk to people. Talk to people who don't agree with you. Talk to people calmly.
Invite them. Ask them questions. Ask them questions. Instead of trying to give them information, which they're just gonna defend, ask them questions. Ask 'em to really talk about what they think, and see if they maybe have heard different news than you have. And maybe then there's that invitation to try to say, this is what I've heard.
What do you think about [00:18:30] that? It's not easy. I know it's not easy, but we have to build grit, and that grit is gonna come from reflecting on what's most important to you and renewing your commitments to going for that. So thanks for watching. Ask Dr. Jodi. I'm on live every Monday at 8:00 PM Eastern. Sometimes I have guests, sometimes my daughter's on with me.
Lots of things coming up for you, but I really wanted to do this episode to the spring. The spring. It's [00:19:00] March, 2025 right now. I wanted to do this episode because I think it's a great reflection. Spring is the beginning again, right? If you are in the Northern hemisphere, the. Trees are starting to bud and that gives us hope.
And with that hope, let's do this work this reflection and renewal. And let's keep making this world a better place. Hope you like this video. Listen. Share it. People will need to hear it. [00:19:30] And also, I am doing a series on executive functioning skills, and I'm gonna put the playlist right up here, but you're gonna like that because we need to build our skills.
Executive functioning skills are skills that we use to problem solve, to understand, to get goal, to write goals, and get them done and succeed. Executive functioning skills. There's tons of them. There's like a dozen of them. I'm going to do a series on 10. I'm in the middle of recording it now, but if you're watching this later, they're all [00:20:00] recorded and they're up in that playlist.
So enjoy that and I'll see you next Monday at 8:00 PM.